Jul 07 2008
Would you shake hands with the devil to hoist Super Bowl XLIII?
Reports have been surfacing all over the NFL of a Brett Favre “comeback.” It appears Mr. Attention missed leaving white stains all over media members press badges and decided to call up Chris Mortensen of ESPN last week for a quick session behind the barn on his Mississippi ranch. Favre has an “itch” that he has misdiagnosed as a desire to come back and play football, not to be mistaken with the itch he has undoubtedly been treating with Valtrex since his adulterous/booze filled lifestyle of the late 1990’s. Since his “retirement” in March I think all NFL fans have been waiting, even anticipating a mid-summer Favre comeback discussion. I even bet a friend $100 that Favre would be playing the Vikes opening day at Lambeau, I was kind of excited for it…the most overrated quarterback in the last 10 years coming back to Lambeau on the day he was supposed to have his jersey retired and throwing 5 picks to Darren Sharper to pad his millennium lead…what a story!!!! However, my stomach was not prepared for what was to come, “Favre good fit for Vikings?” No…it can’t be…you wouldn’t take the Viking fan base and try to force feed a Favre/Minnesota marriage…the confusion would leave Minnesota sterile for roughly two decades (empirical data forthcoming), children wouldn’t know a nose from their ass…literacy would plummet!!!
The idea made me stop and reflect though, could we as Vikings fans truly cheer for a Favre Led purple franchise if it meant we could win the Super Bowl. Could you stand seeing chilly and Favre giving each other butterfly kisses at the 50 yard line of Raymond James stadium on February 2nd with the sweet illusive Lombardi trophy shimmering behind them? I stand here and recommend we all stand and unite in one voice “We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We do not want you Mr. Attention!” Just because Deanna doesn’t use her tongue in places John Madden is willing to go, does not mean the Viking franchise will be a part of your perverse come back tour. The only time I will tolerate Brett Favre on my Samsung 1080P LCDHDTV screen again is if I’m watching Something About Mary on DVD.